GYM ETIQUETTECATION

Yeah..Dammit I said, ETIQUETTECATION...Its the education of Etiquettism.

I got pissed off in the Gym today..You would think people had jobs, im in the Gym at NOON, and gotta go thru the bullshit..I pay too much money for the nonsense.

We not gone do the normal dramatic assed introduction or pre-summary to the issue at hand, we going in, off the break...im officially in my feelings.

TOP TEN DONT DO'S IN THE GYM.

10.9 AYE LOOK HERE SLIM..i understand you wanna use the machine too, but you dont have to sit up under, or up over me, with your hands in your pockets, rocking back and foward, whistling and shit, as if im taking too long..that just makes me hurry up and do more sets FOOL.

10.5. As a grown assed man, it is not cool, to be in the lockerroom and have to hear these words coming from one MAN, to another MAN... "SO WHEN WE GOING OUT ?" i immediately gathered my belongings, and got the FUCK outta there..i refuse to be an innocent bystander in such a situation like that..and then they proceeded to pop each other with their towels..

10. DUDE..do NOT gargle and SPIT in the water fountain. SHOW SOME DISCIPLINE BOY.

09. LADY, when you walk by, dont look back to see if anybody is looking at your butt..YOU WEIGHT ONLY 90 lbs. there is NOTHING THERE.

08. How you gone charge me, 75 Dollars a session (1hr), to train me..and you FATTER THAN I AM..GET YOUR HYDROXYCUT GAME UP.

07. Why you working out in your fresh NY YANKEE NEW ERA HAT, that match your NEW BODY SHIRT..you a bamma..DONT WORK OUT IN YOUR NEW SHIT..and after each routine, stop doing the Ricky Bobby in the mirror like aint nobody watching.. STOP, POSE FOR THE FRAME..you a bamma.

06. Im all for being clean and all that, but you aint gotta be walking out the showers assed naked, barefooted, water all over the floor and shit..you bending all over trying to open up your locker, its grown assed men in here SLIM, get your towel, flip flops and shit together Champ..aint nothing worst than stepping in somebody elses body water with fresh white socks on..it fucks your WHOLE gym experience UP.

05. IF YOU KNOW YOU CANT LIFT THAT, THEN WHY YOU LIFTING THAT ? "A Dog, i need a spot, can you get me ?" ...shit, i just curled 250 lbs joe, THANKS for ruining the rest of my workout with your WEAK ASS.

04. For all you BAMMAS that didnt make the NFL..Yall tend to work out in groups...Yall be on the Bench, The Lat Row, The Squat Joint...for like 45 Minutes..Your dream became reality and it failed joe..Yall dont have to work out 6 deep no more..SPLIT UP SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN USE THE EQUIPMENT.

03. FELLAS, if your stomach look like you smuggling pumpkins...the situp machine WONT help you..there is no reason you should be trying to do 200 crunches, which takes you 20 minutes to do..you can take that 20 minutes to the ELIPTICAL MACHINE JOE..foreal..and next time, whipe the joint off when you finish..you sweating like R. Kelly in Chuck E Cheese.

02. LADIES...if you know you look good in some stretch pants, and them tank tops yall get from Old Navy (Yall aint think i knew that) that fit like a wifebeater ..you aint gotta be strutting all the thru the gym and shit...aint really working out, just there...do what you gotta do, and take your thick ass home, you are a distraction...foreal..but you look good tho.

01. YOU JEALOUS ASSED DUDES..WHO COME TO THE GYM WITH YOUR GIRL..How would you feel, if you got your ass WHOOPED in front of your girl ?..bottom line, either tell your girl to go to the gym at her job, or tell her to stop wearing them little assed shorts, or tight assed sweatpants with P I N K stitched on the back...OWWWWWWWW..you bets believe the Animalz gone look, sniff, creep, attack and conquer.

On a much more important note, please people, take care of yourselves, hit that gym, get your blood pressure together, keep that diabetes off your ass, keep your heart game up..you dont have to go to the gym, play ball, take up karate, play duck duck goose with your workmates, dont take the elevator-take the steps, walk to lunch, have safe sex and all that..DO SOMETHING.

Signed out

Filthy Animalz aka Swole Trickle

"IM ABOUT TO KICK YO'ASS PAWNK" - Dragon Fly Jones

OW. Whats the meaning ?

I dont know where OW originated, whether it was Bootsy Collins or Charlie "Cool Breeze" Wilson, and or maybe even that dude from Cameo that looked like Male Version of Grace Jones.

But if you are from D.C., you know, Suga Bear made 'OW' his trademark. If you are not from D.C., remember the song from Spike Lee's "Skool Daze", "The Butt" when all them thick, chocolate, donkington of the 80's having broads, who might be some of yalls mommas Today, was head down and ASS UP....Yah, that song. Suga Bear is the dude the looked like Suga Bear from the cereal box, singing "DOIN THE BUTT, OWWWWW, SEXAY SEXAY, SANG IT"...Yeah...25 years later, you hear OW all over DIPSET Music and shit..Swag Burgulars..Peace to Jim Jones and Max B, keep your head up champ...WAVE GREASE

Anyway.

A couple years ago, i was going out with this chick, and we would be riding in the car, and the corniest song in American History could be playing on the radio and out of nowhere, she would clap her hands and scream, "OWWWWWW, thas my shat"..you ever had somebody make your toes curl, to the point where you achilles tendon felt like it was due to pop...Yeah. OW.

So from them 2, the ex and Suga Bear, i stole "OW", threw it to the internet, and made the shit the new "LOL"...Show Me some damn love...Thank you, hold your applause.

Matter fact..lets Jigga this up a bit, shall we..."U MADE IT HOT LINE, WE MADE IT A HOT SONG"..shot out to TEAMSMASH WEST aka THE GTG GANG..Im bothcoastal..not bicoastal baby.

The Use of OW...you cant just be going around, OW'ing everything gotdamn thing. like i see you bammas do. Just cause you got a new "USED CAR", dont mean its an OW situation..neither is the fact that you finally copped an Iphone, you cheap bastard.

"OW" is a black woman, nails and hair done, in a business suit, with her ass poking ALL THE WAY OUT, without a wedding ring tho..we dont disrespect happy homes and all that, like we used to.

"OW" is London Charles, in a bathing suit...you dig. Sha Boing Boing.

"OW" is a redbone and dark stallion, with a nice assed purse, strutting with her head high, knowing she dont need no man to pay her bills, or put frosted flakes on the table for Liddle Nay Nay and Tony Jr. ..Double OW OW to that shit.

*time out*

Speaking of Redbones, shot outs to MissKoi..

*time in*

"OW" is your lil babies making the honor roll, or being the lead singer in the glee club, singing his/her liddle heart out to "Amazing Grace", and all that.

"OW" is having that straight cash...That Splurge Money, That Kitty, That "GIMME DAT AN'AT GWOP"..that Rubberband Roll.

DONT JUST USE OW, JUST TO BE USING THE SHIT..SHOW SOME RESPECT.

I can do this shit all day foreal..so lets sum it all up...OW is anything magnificent, something that amazes the hell out of you, whether its that one thing that makes you jump (No Brokeback), or makes it moist boo, OW.

Signing off,

The Filthy Animal aka OW MING

Hit me on twitter: www.twitter.com/animalization #DMV #TEAMSMASH #GOHARD #BAMMA